People and Trust

This blog is about people and Trust.


We learned a lot this topic on our trip in India. Some people, b/c of their references (our friends from home/others) we knew we could trust right away, and through our entire time they (and hopefully we also) maintained that trust. It felt good and safe to be able to trust people, and know they wouldn't abuse it.


Then we got away from people we knew... and so began the adventure. (And it usually involved money of some kind...)

India is known (like other developing nations) to take advantage, price-wise, of "rich foreigners". Its really sad, and some Indians themselves don't like it, but it happens. I guess it makes sense too, b/c our standard of living - paying $5 for a taxi cab may be a cheap ride and we're thankful for it in the states... but if we paid $5 for a taxi/motor-rickshaw, we would be getting majorly ripped off. And these things are important when you're traveling on a budget. And it also rubs on you b/c you know that you probably are getting ripped off, but you're not quite sure, b/c it still is a good price from our "price world". But the ripping off kind of starts to wear on you... and you find yourself getting a little bitter and wondering WHO can you trust? This guy tells me, dramatically, No, no way for that price, you're asking too little, it must be more! Then we find out later Indians would pay that lower price...

Trust is a REALLY important aspect of interacting with people. And honesty. Even when it hurts. ITs SO IMPORTANT. If you can't trust someone, you feel like you're always on edge, watching out for them to take advantage of you again; you can never relax.


Here are some examples: Whenever anyone wanted to talk to us... coming up to us on the streets, our guard immediately went up... are they trying to pick pocket us (watch your purse/pocket), are they just curious about our white skin (b/c we really do stand out), do they honestly just want a picture with us b/c we are such an oddity... or do they want to help us just to later expect payment for this service? Its so sad we had to always be ON EDGE. I just wanted to TRUST people, that they were just being nice, not trying to target us b/c we were foreigners and may have money. I don't know... I think it also had to do with it was our FIRST time in India, so we were even more vulnerable - hadn't learned the ropes yet, didn't know the language (although some kids on a train tried to teach me how to say, "You're ripping me off, I'm leaving." :)), and didn't know what reasonable prices were (even for foreigners). I know by the end of our time, we did feel more confident - and even got out of a rickshaw when the guy tried to raise the price on us. :)



Rickshaw people, people in the market selling things, kids on the street putting their hands to their mouth to motion they wanted food, kids coming up to the rickshaws when we were stopped at traffic lights asking for food or if we wanted to buy some magazine or pen, mothers coming up with their babies saying they needed milk; and just people coming up at train stations - offering to help w/ our luggage or to give us directions... all w/ a price tag? I wanted to receive their hospitality, but not if it came with an expectation of having to pay them.



But as we traveled, we learned more about how to handle things. If we felt like they were just trying to get our money, for a service (advice, carrying something, etc.) we just said no thank you and kept walking... but we didn't have to be rude. That's the other thing. They are people, too, and we don't need to be rude about how we say no. If they were just wanting a picture with us, we would just be friendly and ask where they were from, and have fun just meeting a random family on the street and humoring their request. Sometimes it felt like we were movie stars - but we really weren't. :)



For the beggars, it was a different story. Maybe I'll write a whole blog about that. But for now, lets just say that it was highly discouraged everywhere to give money... (just like in the states). So if I had crackers/cookies with me (a good thing to carry around) or a bag of apples or mangoes or something, and kids or mothers came up while we were in the rickshaw, then I would give those out. But it was good to have a quick escape route. Once one kid saw that you were giving something, it was over, and your rickshaw or taxi was soon swarmed by at least one if not 4-5 other kids, hands out, "madame, madame!" But how can I refuse kids food? If I didn't have any food, I would just keep going and say, "No, I'm sorry." One time I bought a kid some ice cream; I would have been glad if I was that kid! :) But it was hard. Hard to know - am I helping a bad habit of begging? Am I keeping these people on the street by encouraging them that they can make a survival/living off of begging rather than doing other things? Or is there situation something else, and they need the food? I don't know.



So the question of "Who can we trust?" was a big one on our trip in India. Because we were meeting people for the 1st time, we didn't have any background with them at all, didn't know their character, didn't know if they were saying one thing, then doing another.... was a constant trial for us. Having references was always good, but even then you had to be wise and pray for wisdom... but the cool thing was, God showed us Proverbs 2, which has some AWESOME words for how He will / does help us.... It says something like, "He will give us wisdom and insight and understanding; and guard our steps; and protect us from the bad people who want to take advantage of us and lead us down wrong paths." And I am SO THANKFUL for His Holy Spirit that does lead us IN ALL THINGS. The Holy Spirit knows ALL things, so can lead us WONDERFULLY. Even when we didn't feel it, or sometimes felt like we were being taken advantage of... He was still there; growing us up, teaching us, showing us the Ropes. :)



Hopefully we'll be all the more prepared the 2nd time around!! :)