Thoughts on fear...

Fear. It's a disgusting thing. Sometimes it gets a grip of your belly, or tightens across your chest, or feels like a heavy weight sinking down in your gut. However you feel it, its usually not good. What´s the difference between "being wise" (and not doing stupid things, to get yourself in a bad situation) and "being fearful" (which keeps you from doing anything at all)? . . .


I guess that's a question we all have to ask ourselves.


When I was in Bolivia, and sometimes at home, there were some people in my life who were really concerned about this trip. "You are really going alone?" Basically, what are you thinking? Do you know this is NOT wise?

Well, here´s what I see, from my perspective. I have year off from work. What do I want to do? See the world. Do I have the time? Yes. Do I have the resources? Yes. Did God say "Don´t go." No. Did He say "Go." No, not directly, but He asked what I wanted to do. So I picked. And doors, a lot of doors, that could have EASILY been shut, opened up wide. Do I have a travel buddy, like I wanted? No and Yes. It wasn´t exactly what I had in mind, not one person, who I liked, to travel with the whole way... well, it IS one person, who I like, a lot... its my best buddy Jesus. He really is amazing. And I really enjoy traveling with Him. He´s always there to talk to and He speaks back to me (through verses He gives me, I`ll blog about that later, through His presence, through thoughts, and through things around me). And He´ll never leave me. He´ll never run out of resources. He´ll never get bored with me or not like me anymore. And He enjoys doing everything I like to do, because He likes me and likes to be with me. And, on top of all of that, He has AT EACH POINT along the way, crossed my path with some Amazing people... whether they were people He allowed me to "line up" before hand to stay with, or meet along the way (friends of friends). It has been one contact after another. There have only been a few times in the whole journey so far (this past month) where I have truely "been alone" and then I have been with Jesus, and it has been a blessing.

So with that said, why do people get fearful for me, when they hear I´m traveling "alone"... why do I get fearful, when I hear them question me, or when I think about all the unknowns that "could" happen to me along the way.

The REALITY is: God, the God of the whole Universe, is WITH me. Emmanuel. God WITH me. With that said, NOTHING should be really fearful to me. If I really believe that. That´s my IF.
If I don´t, or if I forget it for a time, then all the other thoughts creep in...

"I´m white, a girl, alone, don´t know the language well enough (or at all), I am a target, people are out to get me, I can´t trust them, what if ...... happens? And on and on and on... for a million combinations or "possible" outcomes. But am I really to walk in this? How can I? Sheesh.

I can't think of all the options that "could" happen to me. I can only be where I am now; and that is WITH JESUS, the GOD of the UNIVERSE. HE, alone, can and will take care of all those details for me. I have to trust that and LIVE in that, because it, to me, is the only place where I can live and walk and breathe and exist in FREEDOM. And that's where I want to be.


So, to the comments and concerns about me "traveling alone", thank you for the concern, really.
I am thankful people care for me... I guess it also helps stimulate prayers. It also helps me be aware and learn that I should not be "so naive", and learn how to be "street smart" in my travels (tips I have read, or heard, such as avoid eye contact, hold your bag in the front of your body, have a money belt, be aware of your surroundings, trust your instincts, leave if you feel unsafe, have contact information of your friends/host on you, etc.) Which was definitely all good to learn... and I try to "be wise" and walk in this advice. But I also trust, that if, in my humanness, I forget to do one of these things, and I do something stupid, MY GOD is able to take care of my mistakes, and THAT is a good thing to give me rest and peace to my heart. Its not all up to me. My GOD has my back.


Just some thoughts...