Fear Example, Santa Cruz

From my last post on fear, here are a few examples... and how God has shown up.

On my last day in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, I went to church with one of my new friends, her husband, and his sister. Church was beautiful. The worship/singing time was wonderful, full of heartfelt expressions of love and praise. And there were dancers; beautiful, 3-Dimensional praise.

After church, I was speaking with one of the missionary ladies, who had been in Bolivia for 30 years.

She asked me what my coming travel plans were. While talking to her, I could almost feel a sense of fear emanating from her, regarding me.

"You need to be very careful. You are going to be a target. You are white, a girl, inexperienced in travel, and don´t know the language that well to get out of a pinch," she tells me.

I could feel the cold fingers of fear start to creep into my heart . . .



I was thinking, "Well, what do you want me to do? I have my flight this afternoon to my next city, and I don´t think I have other options, other than to not go... which I don´t think is a good one."

But I also considered that I don´t believe conversations are accidental, so maybe there was something I needed to learn or act on as a result of this conversation. What do you want me to do, God? I thought, I´ll have her pray for me. If God (or something) has given her reason to be concerned, and she´s lived in Bolivia for a long time, so has gained "wisdom", then I should have her pray for me. So she did. But as we left, I could still feel her fear. It was creeping over me like a heavy blanket.

On the car ride home with my friend, we were talking of other things, but the back of my mind was clouded with that new conversation. Why would God have her be so concerned for me? What could I do about it? Nothing, really. Just be worried, and have to trust, but be worried the whole time.

My friend asked me if I was still thinking about the past conversation. Yes, and I told her my doubts, and my rising fears. I started to tear up. What could I do? My friend started to get adamant, to defend me in the face of my fears... "Sometimes you can´t listen to everyone... they don´t know what you´re hearing from God, they don´t know how He is leading you."

When we got back to our house, the fear was still raw and achy in my gut. But I was trying to trust and to believe, in God and His help for me.

We got out of the car, and my friend´s husband, a Bolivian, started reading to me about 5 different Scriptures... about NOT fearing, that our HOPE is in the LORD, that He is our Refuge, and He will send help. (Psalm 20, 43, 121, Isaiah 41:10, Is 42:6)

Tears welled up in my eyes and down my face. I HAVE to trust in my God. I have NO OTHER options. God, here I am, I have no resources, I have no way out, no way to protect myself... I am here, at your mercy, or at the mercy of others. Come and Rescue me. I lifted my face up and, in praise and trust, said, "I trust you."

Then it was into the house to get ready to leave in 20 minutes.

While I was getting ready, the guy´s sister spoke up and asked if I would like her to ride with me in the taxi to the airport. I didn´t want to be a burden to her (about 40 minutes there and back)... but she said, no, she would want to go with me. She is Bolivian, and so could make sure the price was fair, and make sure we got there, and help at the airport.

And then, as we were talking, the idea came up that maybe she could even be my travel companion for the rest of my time in Bolivia, and then up into Peru, to help "watch out for me".

Realization started to come over me, THIS was God´s clear and present PROVISION for me in the moment I needed it. Every fear the woman spoke of could be countered by having this new Bolivian sister/friend travel with me. She was about my age, didn´t speak but maybe 10 words of English, was a basketball player - so we had sports in common, and seemed like we would have a fun time together!

As I put my backpack on, I began to cry again, this time with amazement and thanksgiving. Right when I was at my lowest point, when I had NOTHING of myself to go on... I cried out God; and He showed up, and provided an answer right in my midst. When there was no way, He made a way.

This is my God.